A Moment of Madness
by HouseAddiction
Summary: Everyone wants House and Cuddy to get together...well this is how I think MJ and I would do it...XD Crazy idea but fun all the same. HUDDY ALL THE WAY!
1. Writer's Block and Mary Poppins

**Hello all! Ok so this is something I've been working on for a couple of weeks now. It's kind of crazy and definitely in an AU but it's fun to write so I'm going to continue it. It's basically what MJ0621 and I would do if we could go to PPTH and how we'd make House and Cuddy get together. XD**

**Disclaimer: Of course I don't own any of the House characters. If I did, I wouldn't be on here writing fanfiction, now would I? I do, however, own the characters of MJ, HA and anyone else that is not from the show House M.D. Thank you, and good night.**

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**CHAPTER 1 – Writer's Block and Mary Poppins**

"MJ! I'm bored!" whined HA, poking her over and over. "I wanna do something fun!"

MJ just rolled her eyes. "Just read some Huddy fanfiction or something. Don't bother me right now! I'm trying to write the next chapter of 'Details'! Do you want me to update it or not?"

HA looked away meekly. "I want you to update it."

"Then be quiet!"

HA sighed. She walked over to MJ's bed and plopped down it, watching MJ typing furiously away on the keyboard. She looked around the room without interest. She shouldn't have pushed MJ so hard to update that chapter because now MJ was doing that and she was left alone to do nothing.

Suddenly she heard a cry of frustration. HA looked over to see MJ with her head in her hands. She got up and went over to her friend. "Are you okay? What happened?"

"I've...got writer's block!" With a cry of anguish, MJ put her head back into her hands and pouted.

HA tried to stifle a giggle but it didn't work. MJ looked up and glared at her. "What? Do you think it's _funny_ that I have writer's block? You know it's your fault anyway! If you hadn't _forced _me to start writing right now, I'd have been able to wait until the ideas _came_ to me and would not be scrambling around for them right now!"

HA frowned. "Sorry," she said slowly.

MJ sighed. "It's ok. I was just kidding. It's not really your fault. I just hate writer's block! Sometimes I just wish I could go into the story. Then I could see exactly what would happen if I did something and not have to make it up or assume that it would happen."

HA thought for a moment. Slowly a big smile spread across her face. "I have an idea! And I think it'll cheer you up too!" She pushed MJ out of her chair and began typing quickly on the computer. After about five minutes, she printed some stuff out and ran to get it from the printer.

She showed MJ the papers. They were various screen shots from Honeymoon, the last episode of the first season of House. One was a picture of the hallway outside of Mark's hospital room. Another, the clinic and Cuddy's office. The last, a picture of House and Cuddy talking right at the end of the episode.

"What are these for?"

HA didn't answer. She just spread them out on the floor in chronological order.

"HA?"

"Hmm?"

"What the heck are you doing?"

"You said you wanted to go into the story right?"

"Yeah but–"

"Well that's what we're going to do."

MJ looked at HA as if she was completely nuts. "What?!"

"We're going to go into the episode!"

"Um…HA? I think you've read one too many Huddy fics."

"That may be so, but come on! It'll be fun! Don't you want to, MJ? Don't you want to see what it's like to really be in PPTH?"

"Uh…yeah but HA! We can't seriously go into the episode. How is this going to work?"

"We just hold hands and jump! Just like in Mary Poppins!"

MJ looked at HA like she'd completely gone off the deep end.

"Come on, MJ! It'll be fun!"

"I'm sorry to be Johnny Raincloud, here, but HA!" She grabbed HA by the shoulders and shook her back and forth for emphasis. "That's not real! You can't _actually _jump into a picture!"

HA pouted and looked at the floor. "I know…you're right. I just thought it would be funny to try."

MJ looked at HA and couldn't resist her puppydog pouting face. "ARGH! Fine! Come on, stop pouting. Let's do it and get it over with."

"YAY!" HA jumped up and down. "Come on!" She dragged MJ over the pictures. "First pick one!"

MJ looked at the pictures. "Um…how about that one?" She pointed to the one of the clinic.

"OK! So now we just stand right here." She stood right in front of the picture and took hold of her hand. "First we have to think." They stood there and thought for a moment. "Then you have to…wink." They both winked at each other. "You close your eyes…and JUMP!" she shouted and they both squeezed their eyes closed and jumped.

"Um…did it work?" asked HA, taking a peek through her eyelids.

"Of course it didn't work, dummy. We can't go into pictures."

HA looked away sadly. "But it worked in Mary Poppins and those were real people!" MJ bit back a laugh. HA began to mumble to herself. "First you think. Then you have to wink…" Her eyes grew wide. "Oh my gosh, MJ! We forgot to do the double blink!"

"What?!"

HA smiled excitedly. "It didn't work because we didn't do the double blink after the wink! Come on let's try it again!" She dragged MJ back over the picture. "Ok first you think." They thought. "Then you have to wink." They winked at each other and giggled. "You do a double blink." They bit back smirks and blinked twice. "You close your eyes and…JUMP!!!" cried HA.

They both took a deep breath and jumped.

After a moment, HA sighed. It hadn't worked. She didn't even bother opening her eyes.

She was about to say something to MJ when she felt her repeatedly poke her shoulder. HA opened her eyes furiously. "Gosh, I know it didn't work! It was a stupid idea! I know but–"

HA gasped. They were standing in the center of the Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital Free Clinic.

It had worked after all. The looked at each other wide-eyed and in awe.

MJ and HA looked around at the beige walls and white shiny countertops of the clinic. People were bustling about, writing in files, swapping them at the Nurse's station, and running back and forth between exam rooms. HA's eyes widened. She poked MJ.

"Oh my gosh. We're…we're…actually in the clinic!"

HA and MJ giggled like mad. "I can't believe we actually did it!" cried HA.

"Hello girls."

HA and MJ looked up into the face of Nurse Brenda. MJ's mouth dropped open in disbelief. "Nurse Brenda?"

"Yes?"

"I-I-LOVE YOU!"

She frowned. "Excuse me?"

HA quickly elbowed MJ to stop her from continuing to rant about her undying love for Nurse Brenda. HA was afraid if she didn't stop her, MJ would say something that would get her taken to the psyche ward…like that she had a shrine of Nurse Brenda made out of bubble gum in her closet…which may or may not have been true. They smiled and gave mini waves. "Hello ma'am."

"May I ask who you are and what you're doing in the middle of clinic during the busiest hours of the day?"

"Um…"

"Are you both waiting to see a doctor?"

"No, ma'am" replied HA, "We're…uh…"

"The new candy stripers!" burst out MJ. HA gave her a look of disbelief but quickly masked it. She turned back to Nurse Brenda and gave her a smile of confirmation.

She nodded and smiled. "We were expecting two new candy stripers, but not this early in the week."

"Ah…yeah, we decided to come a little early to check out the hospital. We were wondering, since we're here, could you give us a tour of the hospital?" asked MJ politely.

Nurse Brenda looked at her watch. "I'm sorry girls, I have to be back at the Nurse's station in a couple of minutes, but I'm sure Dr. Wilson would love to show you around." MJ and HA exchanged excited looks. "Dr. Wilson!"

They turned around to see Wilson walked out of Exam Room 1 and drop off his file. MJ's jaw dropped open. James Wilson was even better looking in the flesh. MJ gave him the once over. She looked like she was going to gobble him up, the way she was eyeing him.

HA stifled a giggle. He really did look good. His brown hair was combed and blow-dried and he was wearing a white shirt and black slacks, complete with red tie and black shoes. His pocket protector was gleaming under the bright clinic lights.

"Brenda, you wanted me for something?"

"Yes, Dr. Wilson, I wanted to introduce you to the new candy stripers…ah…"

"Heather Amelia and…uh…Margaret Josephine. But you can call us HA and MJ," replied HA promptly. MJ was going to kill her later.

Wilson smiled. "Well, welcome to PPTH, girls. I hope you enjoy working here as much as I do. And I hope you don't get caught up in all the drama that goes on here."

MJ and HA exchanged looks. "What do you mean?" asked MJ, innocently.

Wilson looked distant for a moment, as though he was reminiscing but came back quickly. "Ah…you'll see eventually," he replied cryptically. "Come on, girls. I'll give you the grand tour of the hospital." He nodded to Brenda before walking out of the clinic. MJ and HA waved to Brenda before trotting after him.

Before they could get too close, MJ pulled HA back for a moment. "What?"

"Margaret Josephine?"

HA grinned. "Sorry…those were the only two names that I could think of that started with M and J." MJ rolled her eyes. She was about to say something but was interrupted by Wilson.

"Are you guys coming or what?"

"Coming!" called HA. They jogged to catch up to Wilson and walked behind him. They listened intently as he pointed out different departments and offices. He introduced them to three doctors from Radiology, five nurses and two cardiologists. They clambered into the elevator and listened as Wilson ranted on about patients and such.

It wasn't all too bad though. Wilson provided insight into the life of a doctor, which was very interesting in itself, but he also added interesting details about different doctors they passed by. For example, HA and MJ said hi to one of the nurses and as soon as she turned the corner, Wilson dutifully informed them that she was sleeping with one of the doctors from Radiology and _not_ with him.

MJ and HA hadn't really been paying attention to where Wilson had been leading them because they were so engrossed with his lecture. They soon, however, found themselves in a very familiar hallway.

As they passed the glass windows of the conference room, their hearts began to flutter.

"This is the Diagnostics department, headed by Dr. Gregory House. He specializes in–"

"Infectious disease and nephrology," replied MJ and HA simultaneously.

Wilson frowned at them. "Yeah…how did you know?"

"Ah…um…" stuttered HA.

"We were talking to some of the nurses before Nurse Brenda found us. They were telling us about him and to stay away from him," MJ said quickly.

"Yeah!" replied HA enthusiastically. "They said he was the local jackass!" MJ shot her a warning look.

Wilson chuckled. "Yeah…that's actually true."

"Really?" asked HA innocently.

"Yeah." He ran his hand through is hair. "You see…House had an infarction in his leg so now he experiences chronic pain. He kind of pushed everyone away after it happened. Dr. Lisa Cuddy, the administrator of this hospital, and I have been gradually working our way back inside the wall he's built around himself."

"Why has Cuddy taken such a keen interest in him?" asked MJ.

"Well, they were friends long before House and I were friends. They have history too, though I'm not sure what it is. It's just so obvious when they interact. The tension in the room–"

"Sexual tension?" asked HA.

"Uh…yeah…House'll probably kill me for telling you this much but for some reason I feel like you should know."

MJ and HA exchanged smirks.

"House…he doesn't open up to people easily. He had his heart broken a couple of years ago right after the infarction and since then hasn't really opened up again. Cuddy…I feel like she's the one for him. She'll be able to help him, to get inside and mend him. He's always been an ass but he was caring and you could see that. I know that's still there but…"

"So you want to get them together?" asked HA.

Wilson nodded. "They have to. If I'm forced to be in the same room with them one more time I'm going to explode because of all the sexual tension that builds up."

"Does it build up to the point where it seems like one of them is going to jump the other but right before it happens one of them leaves?"

"Oh my gosh that's exactly it!" replied Wilson, excitedly. "See I knew you guys would understand. Oh look! Here's comes Dr. Cuddy now…and she doesn't look very happy."

HA and MJ turned around to see Cuddy storming down the hallway. Wilson grabbed their shoulders and pulled them around the corner before she could see them. They frowned at him. "If she sees us, she'll probably yell. Let her get it all out of her system first. Come on, now you can see firsthand how they interact."

MJ, HA and Wilson crept slowly down the hallway and hid silently behind a pillar outside of the conference room. Wilson bent down so that he was level with MJ and HA. "The three doctors inside the conference room are Drs. Foreman, Chase and Cameron. They work under Dr. House."

MJ and HA nodded dutifully and watched as Cuddy promptly dismissed the three and they slunk out of the room, heads bowed. They saw Cameron give House a look of sympathy and both glared at her. HA turned to Wilson. "Does Cameron have feelings for House?"

Wilson looked down at her with a look of surprise. "Why would you think that?"

"Because she keeps giving him these looks and it just seems that way."

Wilson sighed. "I'm not really sure. I know she did a couple of years ago and they went on a date once. But it didn't go very well."

"She wanted him to talk about his feelings right?"

"Yep. And he hates that. Wait…how'd you know that?"

"Ah…Cameron just seems like the kind of person who cares about that kind of stuff. All touchy-feely…and House seems just the opposite."

Wilson nodded sagely. "Boy have you got that right."

HA smiled and turned back around. They watched in silence as Cuddy began to yell at House, probably about missing clinic hours or some upset clinic patients. They saw House just grin at her and her face gradually turned red. He kept stepping closer and closer to her and she did the same, still yelling him. They saw him reply and of course, his answer wasn't what she was looking to hear.

She started yelling at him again and gradually their faces grew so close together it looked as if they were touching. Suddenly all talking stopped. They saw Cuddy's eyes widen slightly. They stood like that for a minute and did nothing, just stared into each other's eyes. MJ and HA held their breath. It looked as though they were about to kiss.

Just when House started to move closer Cuddy took a couple of steps backward, turned on her heels and walked out. Just before opening the door, she turned around and said something over her shoulder and then left the office. She marched down the hallway and they watched as House watched her receding form. He scowled at the floor before stumbling through the door to his office and collapsing into his easy chair. He popped two Vicodin and proceeded to stare into space.

HA and MJ turned to Wilson. "We see what you mean," said HA.

"So you want us to help you get them together?" asked MJ with a smile.

Wilson nodded.

"And you think that we could actually do it?" asked HA, feeling a bit doubtful. "I mean, we're just teenagers. Candy stripers at that. Will they listen to us?"

Wilson nodded again. "For some reason I have this strong feeling that you're just what they need."

They grinned widely.

"We'll do it!" replied HA enthusiastically.

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**So what'd you think? Sure it's not your traditional Huddy fic but it's fun to write! XD Please review! Love ya all!**


	2. No Plan? Shit

**So hello everyone! I'm back from India! The trip was great and I got a LOT of writing done! So guys, expect updates in Desperation as well. Also I started writing a songfic so that should be up soon as well. BatS…we've started writing the third chapter of it so we'll see when it gets out ok?**

**All right guys, just a few things before we start.**

**Firstly, MJ's name…LMAO…is not really Margaret Josephine. Those really were the only two names I could think of at that moment and then I figured it would be funny.**

**Secondly, my friend pointed out the fact that I sound really ditzy and dumb in this fic. I'm pretty sure I'm not like that in real life. At least I hope not. I made character brilliant (LMAO JK) and a little on the ditzy side just because it was funny. If MJ and I were BOTH incredibly serious, this fic would not be how it is right now, don't you agree?**

**And lastly, thank so much for all the FREAKING AMAZING reviews! Thank you to Kitty, Huddy the Ultimate, Abbeyannmd, Kris the fanficaholic, Trinity87, HOUSEM.D.FanForever, TeresaB, MJ, napd567, Mariel, Inu-midoriko, Shika, Gaby, Metaphoric.Love, DerangedCivilian, Cappy, Volonta forte, insanehouseaddict, Housefangirl45, dclovers, and smartiesncoke.**

**Oky doky then. ON WITH THE SHOW!**

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**Chapter 2 – No plan? Shit.**

Wilson, MJ, and HA exchanged mischievous grins just as his beeper went off. Whipping it off his belt, he held it in front of his face, squinting to read the message.

CLINIC. NOW.

"Guys, our planning will have to wait. We're wanted down in the clinic."

They made their way downstairs and found Nurse Brenda waiting for them. "Thank you, Dr. Wilson, for showing these girls around but they have jobs to do." She nodded her dismissal and Wilson slunk away.

Just as he passed, he whispered hastily, "Meet me in my office at one for lunch. We'll talk more then."

He disappeared around the corner and they returned their attention to Nurse Brenda. "All right, girls. I'm sure you know your way around the hospital by now. Since most of the departments are full and running smoothly, you've both been assigned to a place which is short staffed. You'll both be working for Dr. Cuddy today, since her assistant has left…again."

"Um…Nurse Brenda, ma'am? Why did Dr. Cuddy's assistant leave?" asked MJ, hesitantly.

Brenda looked surprised. "You mean you guys didn't hear? Dr. House accosted him in the men's room for Cuddy's day planner." Brenda shook her head. "He hadn't even gotten a chance to relieve himself," she added somewhat sympathetically.

HA and MJ burst into a fit of giggles.

"So HA, you'll be running notes around the hospital and MJ, you'll be answering the phone and guarding her office until she gets a new assistant. Do you both think that you can handle these jobs?"

"Yes ma'am!" they said, both giving her a brief salute.

They turned and headed toward Cuddy's office, their hearts hammering in their chests. Their hands were just at the door handle when Brenda called out behind them.

"Ahem…just a minute, girls." She motioned for them to come back.

They turned and trotted back over to her, confusion creasing their brows.

"Being candy stripers and not interns, you must both wear the proper candy striping attire."

They look on in horror as Nurse Brenda pulled out two identical white aprons and caps with large pink stripes running vertically down the fronts.

"NO!"

"Please don't make us!"

MJ's eyes began to tear up. "Oh Brenda! Why have you forsaken me?!"

They practically got down on their hands and knees and groveled. Clutching the hem of Brenda's scrubs, they begged and pleaded with her but she didn't budge.

"I'm sorry, girls, but this is a hospital policy. Dr. Cuddy would be very mad if you didn't follow the rules on your _first_ day. You wouldn't want to get fired now would you?"

Their faces fell and they shook their heads before holding their arms out in defeat. Nurse Brenda dropped two uniforms into their outstretched arms and turned away smugly.

"Off you go then."

They glumly donned the hideous attire and slowly made their way to Cuddy's office. Just before reaching the door, they stopped. The sound of maniacal laughter filled their ears and everything suddenly grew dark. Lightning clashed somewhere in the background. The looked at each other in terror and quickly turned around. The light came back immediately. Brenda was the only one standing there. She coughed slightly and glared at them.

"What are you waiting for? Dr. Cuddy doesn't have all day."

They nodded and knocked lightly on the glass door. They heard a brief, "Come in" before letting themselves into the inner sanctuary of the amazing, gorgeous Dr. Lisa Cuddy, Dean of Medicine of Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital.

They stared in awe at the beautiful wood paneled room and cushioned chairs they had only dreamed about.

"Just a minute girls."

They nodded vigorously. Content to just stand and stare, HA poked MJ. "Oh my gosh. Look! There's the garbage can that House dug through in season 3, episode 5, Fools for Love!"

"And look over there! It's the same chair that Cuddy was sitting in during season 3, episode 1, Meaning."

"OMG! And there's the very same file cabinet where House trapped her and looked for a let when he thought that she was the one who foiled Foreman's interview in season 3, episode 23, The Jerk."

MJ grimaced in disgust. "Isn't that the same episode where _Honey_ comes?"

"NO!!! She comes in season 3, episode 22, Resignation…the Huddy scene was FA-BU-LOUS!"

MJ nodded. "I agree. He should stick his hands in her skirt more often."

They burst out laughing and looked around the room and saw that Cuddy was staring at them. For how long, they didn't know. Luckily they had been whispering or their weird squeeing might have been perceived as madness and they would have been sent straight to the psych ward…which would NOT have been good.

"Hello girls. You two must be the new candy…" She trailed off. She shook her head and gave them a sad smile. "I guess no one cornered you on the way in?"

HA and MJ frowned. "Nope. Were they supposed to?"

"Usually when new candy stripers come in, one of the nurses is able to corner them before Brenda does in order to teach them how to fend her off when she goes into her "Cuddy is going to get mad" rant. I'm surprised they didn't see you. They would have protected you and you wouldn't be stuck in the hideous uniform you're in."

"Yeah well," replied HA, looking down at the apron, "we sort of ran into Nurse Brenda first."

Cuddy chuckled. "Well, I'll let you in on a little secret." HA and MJ leaned in and Cuddy whispered," Brenda _hates_ candy stripers."

MJ and HA gasped dramatically.

"So that's why she shoved these uniforms on to us?" asked MJ.

"Yep. And she would have put you on the maintenance crew if I hadn't requested that you both work for me."

They looked at her gratefully. They _knew_ there was a reason they loved Cuddy.

"Gosh, take off those uniforms, girls. They're hideous."

"But what if Brenda sees us?" HA sputtered.

"Well, just tell her that I told you both that you didn't have to wear them."

"And that'll work?" asked MJ disbelievingly.

Cuddy sighed. "Well I don't mean to sound a bit smug but…Brenda worships me." HA and MJ giggled. "So all you have to do is tell her that I told you not to wear them and she should get off your backs."

"And if she doesn't?"

"Well, you can always hide in the nearest janitor's closet."

"Gotcha."

Cuddy leaned back and pressed her fingertips together. The girls were like all the other candy stripers she'd seen, but for some reason, she was drawn to these two in particular. There was something about them that made her want to sit down and tell them her life story. For some strange reason though, she had this strong feeling that they knew more about her life than they let on.

MJ and HA were fidgeting under her intense, calculating stare. She was staring at them so hard, it seemed like she could read their minds.

HA started to chant under her breath. "Clear your mind, clear your mind. Do not think of Huddy. Chicken nuggets…chicken nuggets…chicken nuggets…"

Cuddy cleared her throat and blinked a couple of times. "Well," she said, giving them a bright smile, "you guys are going to be my new assistants until I can find a new one. Am I right?"

"Yes ma'am," replied HA, "MJ here, will be your new phone answerer and I will be your note runner."

"Good." She clapped her hands together to emphasize just how good it was. "MJ, you will be sitting at the desk just outside my office." MJ nodded. "HA, please take these notes and deliver them around the hospital. I will be waiting for replies so please return as soon as you can." She handed HA the stack of notes. There had to have been at least twenty of them. She groaned and MJ giggled.

They nodded and walked out. Cuddy stared at them. "Nice girls…strange, but nice all the same." While they thought she wasn't paying attention, they had been whispering to themselves. There had been a lot of pointing and quiet squealing and she'd only caught bits of what they had been saying…something that sounded like 'Huddy," which would be a combination of...

She frowned. House and Cuddy? That would make sense. Her stomach flipped. Why would they be putting their two names together like that? Like a pairing? Like they were together…

She reached for her phone.

"_Wilson."_

"James? It's Lisa."

"_Hey! Is everything all right?"_

"Yeah everything's fine. It's just–"

"_What did he do now?"_

"No, no! Surprisingly it's not House this time."

"_Hmm…then what…wait! Is he there holding you hostage and making you say those things?"_

"NO! Of course not! I can outrun him remember?"

"_Right."_

"No, I was just wondering…have you met the new candy stripers?"

"_MJ and HA? Yeah! I gave them a tour of the hospital! They were very nice. Is something wrong?"_

"No, there's nothing wrong with them…I just…I have this funny feeling about them…"

"_Is it a bad one?"  
_

"No, not a bad one…just…I just feel like something's going to happen…something's going to change and I have a feeling they're going to be catalysts in this impending reaction…."

---HA---MJ---

MJ plopped down behind her new desk and HA sat on the edge. "So what are we going to do?"

HA sighed. "I guess the only thing we can do right now is our jobs."

"And what are we supposed to do about Wilson? He wants us to help him get House and Cuddy together! How are we supposed to do that?" She thought for a moment before her eyes grew wide. "If my calculations are correct, we're here just after 'Honeymoon'. HA, how are we supposed to get them together with Sta–"

"Hello girls."

HA quickly spun around and nearly knocked into Stacy. Her eyes grew wide.

"May I ask what you both are doing playing behind Dr. Cuddy's assistant's desk?"

"We're sorry Sta– ah, Mrs. Warner, but we're Dr. Cuddy's new assistants and it is our job to be here behind this desk," said HA, barely restraining her glare.

Stacy frowned. "Well, then you won't mind if I just go talk to Dr. Cuddy to confirm this."

"Not at all…_ma'am._"

Stacy swept past them and they watched as she gestured wildly towards them. They saw Cuddy reply calmly and bit back giggles as Stacy slumped down into the seat in defeat.

They turned to each other. "So are you ready to answer my question now?" asked MJ.

"What?"

"How do you propose we get them together with Stacy muddling everything up?"

HA thought for a moment. "I have not the slightest idea. But I do know one thing…Stacy CAN NOT, and I repeat, CAN NOT get House this time around."

MJ frowned at her. "Wait a sec…aren't we both Hacy too?"

"Uh…yeah."

"Then why do we care about Stacy and House?"

HA looked incredulous. "Why do we…ARE YOU SERIOUS? BECAUSE HUDDY IS OUR TOP PRIORITY! BECAUSE HOUSE AND CUDDY BELONG TOGETHER! BECAUSE HACY IS ONLY A LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAST RESORT! Got it?" She glared at MJ fiercely, her chest rising up and down with the ferocity of her outburst.

MJ looked away meekly. "Got it."

The door to the office slammed open and Stacy stalked out without a word. Cuddy poked her head out. "Um…girls? Don't you have work to do?"

They snapped to attention. "Right. Sorry, Dr. Cuddy."

"No problem." She slipped back into her office and they bowed their heads together and whispered.

"So what are we going to do?!"

HA shook her head. "No idea. But we're meeting Wilson for lunch at one so maybe he already has a plan and we just have to help."

MJ nodded. "Let's hope so."

"Ahem."

HA looked up to see Cuddy standing in the doorway, tapping her heeled foot on the tiled floor. "Those notes aren't going to run themselves."

"Sorry," said HA quickly before scurrying away.

MJ looked at the clock on her desk. 9 AM. She sighed as the phone rang.

"Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital, Dr. Cuddy's office. How may I help you?"

It was going to be a LONG day.

---HA---MJ---

As the doors of the elevator closed behind her, HA leaned back against the cool metal in relief. She'd been running around the hospital for hours delivering messages to the different departments. It probably would have taken a much shorter time if she'd not gotten lost three times. She also knew that she'd never remember the replies to the all the notes so she'd swiped a notepad from Dr. Bennet's desk when he wasn't looking.

Yes…that's right. Dr. Bennet, head endocrinologist.

She'd done a double take when she saw the name and was so nervous that she'd delivered the wrong message and only realized it an hour later. She went running back and apologized profusely but he just laughed and sent her on her way, saying that he knew there was something wrong when he was told to proceed with the removal of his patient's right toe.

Now, thankfully, she had one stop left before going back to report to Dr. Cuddy and this one she'd saved for last.

The elevator pinged and the doors opened on the third floor. Her heart began to flutter as she approached the familiar glass windows of the Diagnostics department. She slowly peeked into the office.

He wasn't there.

She walked in, running her fingers across the arm of the upholstered chair. She browsed through the rows of medical textbooks and stopped when she came across the Lupus textbook. She smiled.

That was where he kept his spare stash of Vicodin.

She shook her head and continued to wander around the room. And then she saw it; what she'd been hoping to see.

Her stomach flipped as she gazed at the round, fuzzy, red and gray exterior of House's 'thinky-thinky' ball.

She crept over to it and was about to caress it when a voice stopped her dead in her tracks.

"Don't. Touch. The ball."

HA jumped and turned to see Dr. Gregory House standing in the door, cane outstretched and pointing directly at her nose like a rifle.

She looked at him. He was even more handsome in person. Of course, he had the gruff bad-boy look going, complete with crushed button-down shirt, rocker T-shirt, faded jeans and sneakers. His 5 o'clock shadow was there, just as she remembered and her stomach flipped.

She stared down the "barrel" of his cane and held up her hands in surrender. "Please, don't shoot! I come in peace."

"Give me one good reason why I shouldn't pop you one right now."

"That isn't a real gun. And I have something you want."

House raised an eyebrow.

She reached into her pocket and pulled out a red cherry lollipop that she'd nicked from the clinic on her way up.

House's eyes grew wide and he smirked. "Nicely played." He put down his cane and used it instead to hobble over to her and grab the lollipop from her hand before settling down in his comfy chair.

She smiled and pulled a second one out of her pocket and popped it in her mouth.

"What are you doing in my office? Last I heard this was called trespassing."

HA shrugged. "Not if you work for Dr. Cuddy."

Now House looked interested. "Seriously? So what are you, her new slave?"

"Assistant."

"Is that what she's telling you?

"That's what we were assigned."

"There's more of you?"

"Just one more. She's working at the desk right now. So there's no chance of you getting into the office."

"Damn."

"But don't' worry, if you ask nicely, maybe she'll let you in. MJ is very nice."

House glared at her. "Aren't you a little young to be an assistant? Shouldn't you be a–"

"Candy striper?"

"Uh…yeah."

"We are."

"Then why aren't you wearing–"

"The hideous outfit?"

"Yeah."

"Cuddy said not to."

"But you have it?" he asked hopefully.

"Had it."

His face fell. "What'd you do with it?"

"Chucked it in the nearest janitor's garbage can."

"Damn."

"Why?"

"They're notorious."

"For what? Being hideous?"

"Duh."

"So what do you want to do with it? Pose as a candy striper for Halloween?"

"Well, I am sweet enough."

HA snorted. "That's not what the nurses said."

His eyes narrowed. "What do you know?"

"More than you think."

Her mysterious smile intrigued him but he wasn't going to let her know that. "Hmm….so let me guess…you're here because you've got a note for me from the Devil. Am I right?"

"Wow," she replied sarcastically, "You must be a genius."

"Evil genius."

"Oh, my bad."

He smiled wryly. "I think I'm gonna like you."

HA grinned and shuffled through her papers. "Uh…so Dr. Cuddy would like you to, and I quote, 'get your lazy ass out of your office, old man, and get down to the clinic.' Unquote." HA tried to hide her smile but it didn't really work.

"Ouch."

She frowned at him. "Wasn't she up here yelling earlier today?"

"We yell at each other all the time. It's how I distract her so I an get close enough to see down her blouse."

She tapped her forefinger on her chin in thought. "Well, considering her note was about getting your…ahem…lazy ass," his eyes narrowed and she continued, "to the clinic, I'm pretty sure she wasn't up here for that. And," she began to pace the office, "we saw Stacy talk to Dr. Cuddy earlier, definitely pissed off, so she must have just gotten news of another lawsuit so…" she paused for a moment, "illegal drug trial?"

"Unethical treatment of a patient. I would NEVER subject a helpless patient to an illegal drug trial."

HA smiled. Why was she not surprised? "What'd you do?"

House frowned. "You're incredibly nosy for a candy striper."

"You're incredibly dense for an evil genius."

"Why do you say that?"

"Uh…" HA stuttered, "No comment."

House glared at her. She knew something that he didn't and he was going to find out what it was. They stared at each other in silence for a few moments.

"Ha! You blinked! I win!"

"I wasn't aware that we were having a staring contest."

"We so totally were and I won!"

HA rolled her eyes. "Okay, well, I've gotta get back to work. Do you have any response for me to give back to Dr. Cuddy?"

"Yeah, NO."

HA chuckled. "All righty then. See ya later then."

Just as she reached the door he spoke, "What's your name?"

"Hillary Andrea. But everyone calls me HA."

He looked away and nodded briefly. "Tell her…I like the way her blouse today accentuates her gorgeous funbags."

HA frowned but quickly jotted it down and left. She slid into the elevator at the end of the hallway and collapsed against the wall, her giggles resonating throughout the small box.

When the doors opened, she hastily jogged into the clinic before ducking behind the nearest fern, heart pounding in her chest.

Nurse Brenda was standing at the Nurses' Station, poring over patient files, facing away from the door.

Cue the 'Mission Impossible' theme song.

HA slowly crept over to the Nurses' Station before ducking down below the desk, just as Brenda turned toward the door.

Eyes wide, she crawled along the floor right around the desk until she was directly in front of Cuddy's office.

She peeked her head above the desk slightly to spy on Brenda and saw her disappear into Exam Room 1. She took her chance and bolted into Cuddy's office.

MJ wasn't there. It was already past one.

"Shit."

She quickly slipped into Cuddy's inner office and shut the door with a loud click. Cuddy looked up with a start. HA resisted the urge to scream "SANCTUARY!" at the top of her lungs so she settled for deep healing breaths instead.

Cuddy raised one finely manicured eyebrow in question.

"The lion was on the prowl."

Cuddy frowned. "What? Oh! You mean, Brenda was out there?" HA simply nodded and collapsed into one of the comfy chairs in front of the desk. "Right. What'd you do with the uniform?"

"Chucked it into the nearest garbage can. I am NOT going to cover up ALL this with something as horrendous as THAT."

Cuddy nodded sagely. "I know what you mean. I hate all that constricting clothing. It doesn't do ANYTHING for my figure. I love low cut tops."

"No kidding." HA smirked and Cuddy just smiled.

"So you have messages for me? I've been waiting for hours."

HA scratched her head, cheeks flushing slightly. "Sorry about that. I sort of got lost a couple of times." She relayed the story about Bennet which had Cuddy in bales of laughter.

Grinning, "No problem."

"Well anyway," said HA, "Dr. Bennet said thanks so much for letting him do the surgery. Dr. Rose said she'd try to get the number for Dr. Jennings in New York because he's the best brain surgeon in the tri-state and they're going to need the best to pull off the surgery…"

She continued like this for some time until she got to the final name on the list.

HA took a deep breath. "And finally…uh…Dr. House said…um…"

Cuddy seemed to sit up in her chair slightly but managed to keep her face neutral. "Yes?" she asked, almost bored. If Cuddy had used that tone with anyone else, they might have believed that she was actually completely uninterested in what HA had to say. But HA knew better.

HA grinned widely. "Dr. House said, and I quote, 'Tell her that I like the way her blouse today accentuates her gorgeous funbags.' Unquote. Oh and that's a resounding "NO" for going to the clinic."

Cuddy managed an eye roll and bit back a grin. She knew he'd like the shirt. It was a little black number made of a silky material that dipped low in the front as well as the back. She wore it on a white skirt that swished around her tanned legs as she strode purposely down the hallways.

HA cleared her throat. "If that's all you need me for, may I please go eat lunch?"

Cuddy snapped back to attention. "Oh yes, of course. I'll take care of House. Run along. I expect to see you back here by two."

"Yes, ma'am."

HA scurried as fast as she could out of Cuddy's office and ran all the way to Wilson's.

Knocking, she reached for the door handle to find that it was locked.

"Password?"

HA frowned. "Uh…open sesame?"

Nothing happened.

"Uh…abracadabra? Chicken nuggets? Wilson is the best?"

Still nothing.

She thought for a moment and a little light bulb appeared over her head. Gradually it began to emit a dull glow and suddenly it flashed brightly. HA had an idea.

"I know! House and Cuddy need to have hot-messy make out time. RIGHT NOW!"

She heard the lock click and the door swung open to reveal Wilson and MJ eating sandwiches around Wilson's desk.

MJ spoke first. "Where the hell have you been?! You're almost half an hour late! I was pretty sure Nurse Brenda had caught you and was making you do all sorts of icky things as punishment for not wearing your uniform!"

HA closed the door and relocked it. "Hey, what'd you do with yours?"

MJ grinned. "I chucked it in the nearest garbage can."

"Oh my gosh! ME TOO!"

"Yeah but the greatest part was when Brenda caught me doing it."

"Holy crap."

"Yep. She was right behind just as I was tossing it into the can. She began to yell at me but luckily Cuddy happened to be right there and set her straight."

"Geez. I've been dodging Brenda all day."

Wilson gestured toward the seats and sandwiches and they both sat down again and began to eat.

"Sorry I'm late. Got lost a couple of times when running notes. What's been going on?"

"Well, House tried to barge in, saying he had some news about Cuddy's new assistants." He looked at HA pointedly. "We locked the doors though so he thought no one was in. He even tried the balcony but we locked that too and pulled the shade down."

"Gotcha."

"So, what's the plan?"

HA and MJ looked at him. "What do you mean? Don't _you_ have a plan?"

Wilson frowned. "No, that's why I need your help. I thought you knew that."

"Oh…" MJ groaned.

"…snap," HA finished.

Wilson sighed. "So no one has a plan?"

"Nope," they replied in unison.

"Ok well, which one of you is a good plan maker? Who has experience with this kind of stuff?"

They looked at each other. They'd both written quite a lot of fanfictions…

"MJ."

"HA."

HA sighed. "Okay, we both have experience…but I think MJ should do it."

MJ spazzed. "NO FREAKING WAY! I have NO idea how we're going to get two REAL LIFE adults together. I've only written about it! There's no way it's the same thing! YOU have to do it!" she exclaimed, poking HA.

"HEY! I've only written about it too! What makes you think I can do it?"

"Because YOU'RE the person who was crazy enough to get us here," she said, poking her again, "so YOU'RE going to make the plan!"

Wilson just looked on in amusement. "Crazy enough to…hey! What'd you mean by–"

"Can't we collaborate?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because it's YOUR FAULT!"

HA looked at her. "But–"

"No buts."

HA frowned. "Rock, Paper, Scissors?"

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

"Pretty please?"

"No."

"Pretty please with sugar and ice cream and chocolate sauce with cherries and strawberries and sprinkles and chocolate chips and–"

MJ glared at her. "ALL RIGHT! FINE!"

They held out their fists. "Rock, Paper, Scissors says shoot!"

There was silence for a moment.

"Damn it."

"Rock beats scissors. I win!"

"NO! Scissors TOTALLY beats rock!"

"Can scissors cut up rocks?"

"Ye…no."

"Exactly so I win."

HA glared at her. "Fine."

She sat there for a moment, brainstorm clouds brewing inside her head. Her favorite light bulb appeared over her head once more. Just like before, it glowed dimly before flashing brightly.

"I've got it! Emc2!"

"WHAT?!" cried Wilson and MJ simultaneously.

"Hehe…just kidding…but I do have an idea." Her mischievous smile should have warned them.

"First we'll…" She whispered. "Then we'll…" She whispered again. "Then we'll have to…" More whispering. "And finally someone will have to…" She whispered the last bit and Wilson gasped.

"That's crazy!"

"So crazy…it just might work."

**--------------------**

**Okies…so what did you think?**

**Now, I'm sure you've all noticed that some of the things that we say are from movies. Can anyone pick out what movies they're from? If you can, I'll give you guys a big jar of cookies (and milk). There are three, I'm pretty sure….wait…maybe two. XD Does anyone know?**

**Ok please review! I loved them so much!**

**HA**HA


	3. Chameron in a Closet

**Hey everyone! So sorry this took so long. RL is being annoying. I've been so busy, if it hadn't been for Kitty, I probably wouldn't have opened this for another few weeks so thank her for incessantly nagging me. XD**

**Also because MJ told me to, I've been forced to tell you all that this is entirely my work. MJ is only a character and is not writing this with me. She said that she feels bad because people are giving her credit when she's not doing anything. XD I told her it's not a problem but here I am. Okies?**

**So thank you to Trinity, insanehouseaddict, HuddytheUltimate, Kitty, Volonta Forte, Shika, Gaby, HOUSEM.D.FanForever, Gigi892, MJ, Housefangirl35, and Cappy! You guys are the greatest.**

**--------------------**

**Chapter 3 – Chameron in a Closet**

A knock on the door made them jump. The handle jiggled but when the door didn't budge, they heard an audible sigh.

"Wilson, open up. I know you're in there. I just heard you talking. Come on. I don't have all day."

MJ and HA exchanged looks of shock. Wilson turned to them. "Shit…it's Cuddy. Go! Out the balcony door! We'll talk later! I'll hold her off!" he whispered.

They scrambled out of the back door of the office and slipped on to the balcony. Wilson saw them out and relocked the door. He ran over to his desk drawer and pulled out his spare stash of medicinal marijuana and rolling paper.

"Wilson!"

"Coming!" He opened the door and gave Cuddy a shy smile. "Sorry." He let her in and sat behind his desk again. "What's up?"

---HA---MJ---

MJ and HA crept out onto the balcony, shutting the door as quietly as possible. They ran to the wall and were about to vault over it when HA stopped. She slowly crept back and peered in through the door. Cuddy was standing in front of Wilson's desk, looking as intimidating as ever and HA felt a pang of regret for leaving him there. They definitely should have taken him with them.

Suddenly Wilson's eyes snapped to hers. His eyes grew wide and he began to make small shooing motions with his hand while pretending to pay attention to Cuddy.

She ran back to MJ.

"What's going on?"

"Cuddy's in there interrogating Wilson like the Spanish Inquisition. We better get back down there before she does or we're totally screwed."

MJ nodded and they vaulted over the wall and onto House's balcony.

---HA---MJ---

She eyed him suspiciously. "What were you doing in here with the door locked?" 

"Well, I was rolling some joints for one of my patients," he answered, holding up a joint. "She can't roll." She saw his eyes flick to the balcony door.

"Right…Were you smoking one as well?" 

Wilson looked back at her and made a face. "What are you talking about?" 

"Well you were talking to someone. I heard you. So either there was someone in this office or you were smoking one as well. So Wilson…what is it?"

"I wasn't talking to anyone!" Cuddy's eyes narrowed. "And I wasn't smoking them! I swear! I can't stand the smell of them."

Cuddy spun around fully in one quick movement to look at the balcony door.

Wilson squeezed his eyes shut and prayed that HA had gone. He looked around Cuddy.

She was gone.

---HA---MJ---

MJ pushed open House's balcony door, which was surprisingly unlocked, and they crept inside, closing the door behind them. The room was dark and after a quick scope out, they saw House asleep on his easy chair near the door. HA and MJ held their breaths and quietly tiptoed past the subtly snoring diagnostician and made their way to the door. MJ's hand was around the handle of the door when she heard a loud thud.

She quickly spun around and saw HA flat on her face, looking up at MJ with a nervous and slightly frightened smile. "Sorry," she whispered. "I tripped."

MJ was about to retort when she heard a grunt from her right. HA ducked down and MJ held her breath and looked at House.

---HA---MJ---

Cuddy turned back to him and glared. The glare didn't last however. She sighed and scrubbed her hand over her face. "Sorry…I guess I'm a little on edge. I came up here to get House's ass to the clinic but when I walked into his office, I saw that he was asleep and I…I just didn't have the heart to wake him up."

"So you saw the rings too?"

"How could anyone miss them? He looked like a raccoon. I had to assure three donors that this was definitely a hospital and not a zoo."

Wilson snorted.

---HA---MJ---

House let out a low grunt and shifted his neck a little but continued to sleep. MJ breathed a sigh of relief and gave HA thumbs up. "Let's go before we wake him up," she whispered.

HA nodded and crawled to the door. MJ rolled her eyes but held it open for her and stepped into the hallway after her. HA jumped up and they ran to the elevators. MJ frantically pressed the buttons to take them to the ground floor as HA repeatedly hit the 'Close doors' button. When they were safely inside the metal box, they collapsed against the walls.

"That was way too–" said MJ after a moment.

"Fun?"

"No."

"AWESOME?!"

"Ah…no."

"Then what?"

"Close."

"Totally."

"And it's all your fault, you know that right?"

"Yep."

---HA---MJ---

As the door swung close, House opened his eyes and looked around. He frowned.

_What the hell was __**that**__ about?_

Why were HA and who he presumed was MJ sneaking in his office? Something was up. And Wilson _definitely _knew what was going on.

---HA---MJ---

Wilson nodded and Cuddy looked distant for a moment. He watched her for a second. "Cuddy?" he asked softly.

She blinked at looked at him. "Um…well thanks for letting me talk to you, as always." Wilson nodded and Cuddy turned to the door. "Oh, one more thing, ah…have you seen MJ and HA? They were supposed to be back at my office by two."

Wilson's eyes grew wide but he quickly masked his surprise. "Ah…nope I haven't seen them."

Cuddy nodded and closed the door. Wilson let out a sigh of relief.

God, he was a terrible liar.

---HA---MJ---

MJ plopped down in her chair, HA plopping down on the floor beside her. "We made it! Thank God."

"Uh…MJ?"

"Yeah?"

"I was just thinking…"

"Oh no."

"Isn't Wilson a terrible liar?"

MJ paled. "He is, isn't he?"

"Yep…"

"Crap…"

"Yep. Do you think that…"

"No…No way. We are not going think of that. Cuddy knows NOTHING, you hear me? NOTHING!"

"All right. But I'm just saying…she _might _be suspicious after–"

"Hello there, girls."

HA yelped and peeked her head out from behind MJ's desk to see Cuddy standing there, tapping her foot.

"Hello there, Dr. Cuddy. Did you have a nice lunch?" asked MJ pleasantly, trying desperately to avoid her death glare.

"Yeah, Dr. Cuddy, how was your lunch?"

"It was just _fabulous_, girls. I spent the whole time searching for House…and _you two._"

"Um…"

"We're sorry, ma'am. We were in the bathroom. MJ had a killer nosebleed."

MJ nodded dutifully. "I told HA to go back to you but she refused to leave me until the bleeding stopped." She'd said it so sincerely that they saw Cuddy's glare falter.

HA held back a snort.

Cuddy inhaled deeply. "All right, that's enough of that. Don't worry about it. I'll let you off easy this time, but next time I won't be this lenient."

"Yes ma'am." 

"Anyway, HA, take these notes please, and both of you get back to work."

They nodded dutifully and Cuddy strode into her office. As the door slammed shut, the released the breaths they didn't realize they had been holding.

HA turned to MJ. "I think I better get going. I'll meet you back here at five so we can figure out what we're doing."

MJ nodded and HA ran off.

---HA---MJ---

Five didn't come soon enough. HA slumped into the elevator and made her way back to Cuddy's office. She'd be running her into the ground. There had been so many notes and things to do, HA didn't even have time to say hello to MJ, let alone discuss the plan. HA sighed. This was going to be much harder than she thought.

She walked into the clinic and saw MJ furiously typing away at her computer. She slumped into the chair.

"Hey. How's it going?"

"Pretty good. Cuddy's been running me into the ground. I think my legs are going to fall off."

MJ snorted but continued typing. "I stopped working for about 15 minutes and snuck into the cafeteria to pick up a salad for Cuddy. I felt bad that she missed her lunch. That's why I'm still working."

HA smiled. "What did she say?"

"Well, she looked grateful, if that's what you mean."

HA closed her eyes and began to doze when the door to Cuddy's office burst open. She jumped and hit her knee on the desk.

"HA!"

She cringed in pain but managed a half mumbled, "Yes, ma'am?"

"I need you to take this note to Dr. Moskowitz, please." She shoved the note at HA and stomped back into her office.

HA sighed heavily. "Damn it, not again."

MJ giggled. HA turned and gave her a death glare. "Not another word."

---HA---MJ---

By the time HA was done, two hours had passed. The night was young but outside the hospital was pitch black. MJ and HA stood by the sliding doors at the entrance of PPTH.

"HA?"

"Yeah…"

"What are we going to do now?"

"No idea."

"I know we can't initiate any part of the plan tonight."

"Nope."

"So I just have one question."

"Uh-huh."

"Where are we going to sleep?"

HA groaned. MJ sounded pleasant enough but HA could tell that she was trying to hide her annoyance about having been thrust into such a crazy but amazing situation.

"I'm working on it."

"Well, if you wouldn't mind, can you please work on it faster? My legs are gonna fall off."

HA rolled her eyes. "Stop complaining about your legs. _I_ was the one running around the whole freaking hospital."

MJ giggled and HA shot her a death glare…again. "I have an idea. Come on!"

HA dragged MJ down the hallway. "Geezus…HA! What the heck are we doing? Where are we going?"

HA didn't turn around but instead, kept dragging her down the hallway. "We're going to find the nearest janitor's closet and–"

"W-W-W-WAAAIT a second!"

HA stopped dragging her down the hallway, to MJ's relief, and turned to give her an inquisitive look. "What?!"

"This isn't where you try to make out with me, is it? Because I have a guy at home waiting for me and I don't think it'll work out between you and me…we're just too different."

HA's face contorted into a look of such surprise that MJ couldn't hold it in anymore. She started laughing so hard she dropped to the ground, rolling all over it.

"Get off the floor! Geez, and get out of GutterLand while you're at it. You spend too much time with Krissy. Come on! We're almost there!" She grabbed MJ and half dragged her down the hallway before she was able to get a handle on her laughter and get off the floor.

"You should…have seen…your face! It was…priceless."

"Can it, girlie. We're here."

They stood outside the janitor's closet on the third floor near House's office. "What are we doing here?"

"Well, I think we're going to have to spend the night in the hospital. I mean, do you have any money on you?"

MJ dug through her pockets. "All I have is…a nickel, a paperclip, and this chibi Huddy comic that I drew while answering the phone. You?"

HA stuck her hands in her pockets as well. "Hmm…I've got…three dollars, a pencil, my house keys, and my set of House trading cards."

MJ raised a brow. "House trading cards?"

"What? They're AWESOME! There's one of every character and all these diseases and patients and you have to battle with them. House is the best, by far. And I have like, three of him, so I'm basically unstoppable."

MJ's face…pretty much looked like this: o.O

"All right…I _officially_ think you're weird. Changing the subject, fine, we'll sleep in the hospital. But why in the janitor's closet?"

"Got any better ideas?"

"Uh…no."

"Exactly. So come on, we better hurry."

"What, do you think all the _good_ janitor's closets will be taken?"

HA glared at her. "No, but if we want to get in there before someone sees us I suggest you hurry up."

The jogged toward the closet and HA was about the turn the handle when MJ stopped her. "Wait a second."

"What?"

"I think I hear voices."

"Oh my God…like…dead people?"

"NOOOO. Like…there's someone inside there already."

HA frowned. "Who could possibly be–?"

Against MJ's better judgment, HA turned the handle, flicked the lights and gasped.

MJ, who was right behind her, peeked her head around the door. "What hap—OH!"

The janitor's closet was already being occupied. Chase and Cameron stared at them wide-eyed. Chase's shirt was missing, as was his belt. His hair was tousled and he was slightly flushed, though growing pinker by the second as the two girls stood there, gaping at his bare chest.

"Um…"

"Well, this is a bit awkward," said Cameron, buttoning up her shirt and looking at them with mild amusement, trying to cover up her embarrassment.

HA sputtered. "Chase and Cameron…in a closet…IN THE SECOND SEASON?!?!?!"

Chase frowned. "Um…what?"

MJ elbowed her and HA coughed. "I mean…Chase and Cameron…in a closet…um…what?"

MJ rolled her eyes and tapped her foot on the tiles before narrowing her gaze at Cameron. "What are you doing here? In the hospital? With _Chase?_"

"HEY!" cried out Chase, indignantly.

Cameron frowned at her. "Who are you to ask me such a personal question? What Chase and I do on our own time in the hospital is our business, not the business of two teenage _candy stripers_," she replied haughtily, her voice dripping with disdain.

MJ pursed her lips and raised an eyebrow. HA's stomach flopped. "Well," replied MJ, coolly, "it may not be _our _business, but it _is_ Dr. Cuddy's."

Their eyes widened in obvious fear. Cameron looked as if she was going to say something but thought better of it and raised her head in contempt. Before she could say anything to cover up their fear, Chase broke free from her evil, sleazy clutches and ran at them, getting on his knees. "OH PLEASE DON'T TELL DR. CUDDY! PLEASE! I'LL DO ANYTHING!"

"Anything?"

HA and MJ looked at each other and nodded. MJ continued. "Step outside, please, Dr. Chase." He was about to get up and follow them out of the closet but HA stopped him.

"And put some clothes on."

Chase blushed slightly and ran back inside, threw on his clothes and rushed out the door. Cameron was about the follow but MJ stopped her. "I'm sorry. We'd like to speak to Dr. Chase…alone."

Cameron growled indignantly and stomped back into the closet, slamming the door behind her.

Chase stared at them intently. "Well?"

"Dr. Chase, how long have you been…"

"…doing skanks in janitor's closets?"

MJ elbowed HA again. "Ow…sorry…" she said sheepishly.

"How long have you been…having sexual relations with Dr. Cameron?"

"Fine…be all proper and formal, why don't you?" mumbled HA before observing Chase.

"Um…probably for a few months now. On and off though, since she got high a while ago."

"Seriously?!" asked MJ and HA in unison.

He frowned at him. "What?"

"Um…nothing. Sorry. Anyway…"

MJ coughed slightly. "Well, we promise not to tell Cuddy about this little escapade…"

"OH THANK YOU! THANK-"

"IF you promise to stop banging Cameron in closets and just tell her how you feel. It's ridiculous. She's just leading you on if she doesn't actually have feelings for you and that's just…mean."

"And we love you, Chase. We really do," added HA and MJ groaned inwardly.

"Love me? You don't even know me."

"Oh but I do. I know more about you than you think," replied HA in a slightly sultry voice.

"Uh…"

"We'll just be going now," replied MJ quickly, grabbing HA and dragging her down the hallway. She pulled her into the nearest room and shut the door. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING? DO YOU EVEN THINK BEFORE SAYING SOMETHING?"

"What? I thought it would be funny…" said HA, pouting slightly.

MJ growled. "Do you WANT to blow our cover?"

HA looked away sheepishly. "No."

"Exactly."

"Sorry…MOM."

MJ sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. "Why do you call me that?"

"Because you act like it!" She stuck out her tongue.

"AND YOU ACT LIKE A CHILD SO THERE!"

HA's eyes grew wide. Her lip began to poke out slowly. MJ groaned. _Well as long as it doesn't start to_…_dammit_. Her lip started to quiver. "Oh…all right. I'm sorry I called you a child."

The lip immediately went back in and ceased its incessant quivering. She gave MJ a warm smile. "It's ok. Come on, I have another idea."

---HA---MJ---

Five minutes later, after a little bit of searching, MJ and HA were standing outside of Coma Guy's room.

"You're kidding…"

"You have a better idea?"

"Nope."

"Then we're bunking with Coma Guy tonight."

MJ sighed. "I'll get the pillows."

She left the room and HA looked around. She stared at Coma Guy's motionless form. It was sort of unnerving but if House could_ eat_ on him, sleeping in his room would probably be ok.

"Mr. Coma Guy, sir, I hope it's all right that MJ and I stay in your room for the night. We really don't have any place to stay here in Princeton since we're from…out of town and we're only here for a while to get House and Cuddy together. If we disturb you in any way, please just…" She stopped. What would he do? Groan if they bothered him? That's awkward…

"Well, I hope we don't bother you. But I heard MJ snores so…"

"HEY!" MJ walked in the door with two pillows and blankets. HA giggled. "So where are we going to sleep?"

HA pulled the visitor's chairs close to each other. Luckily there were four. They placed them together like beds and placed the pillows and blankets on them.

"Well, this will have to do," said MJ, observing their handy work, "Though I'll probably have a major backache in the morning."

HA shrugged and turned off the lights before climbing onto her bed. "'Night MJ."

"Night."

After a moment of silence, "HA?"

"Yeah?"

"Were you…_talking_ to Coma Guy while I was gone?"

"Yeah."

"You know what?"

"What?"

"You're…a dork."

"I know."

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**All righty…what'd ya think? Please review, guys, thanks so much!! I'll see what's going on with the next chapter of Desperation but enjoy this in the meantime.**

**Love you all.**

**HA **


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